Oh, my! I had heard about the terrible 3’s but didn’t think it could be THAT BAD. I stand corrected. My son, Jay, turned 3 in early March. Within three days (I’m noticing the pattern of 3. Hmmm…) my sweet, laid back, easy to discipline son disappeared and in walked his replacement. And let me tell you…there have been moments when my husband and I have not liked his replacement. Our new Jay has challenged us in many ways with his meltdowns, NO’s, whining, and blatant defiance. I’ll even humbly confess that he actually stomped on my foot after it was clear that he was not going to get what he wanted. At the end of his first week of being 3 I felt a little confused and traumatized; things had been going so well before his third birthday. All I could think to myself was, “Is he going to be like this FOREVER?” I’m a good eight weeks into this new phase now and feeling more confident. I’ve gotten over my shock (and horror), and have pulled myself together. This is what I can tell you from my experience so far: I try not to take Jay’s outbursts personally because they’re not personal. He’s trying to exert a little independence and express how he feels. I also expect some of his outbursts; it just goes with the territory of being 3. However, and here’s the most important part, even though I expect the meltdowns and defiance I clearly communicate to him that they are not acceptable behaviors in our family and that disrespect to his daddy and me are TOTALLY unacceptable. I think he’s starting to get over himself and I can tell things are beginning to calm down. Once or twice a day now my husband and I even catch a glimpse of the old Jay who used to live with us. I shared my experience with a dear friend of mine who has a six year old son. She asked me, “But have you heard of the frightful 4’s?” YIKES!
Amy Barker, Guidance Counselor
